Life lessons and shit like that.....

( WARNING: Personal shit)

It's been a shitty, destructive, depressing, grinding, sad 11 years.
It's over, I'm done. I accepted all the shit, all the blame, all the angst. I did without pay while you bought a new car you didn't need, a new bike you definitely didn't need, a house when you could have rented like the rest of us poor fuckers just trying to make ends meet. You bought that giant TV, the carpet, log splitters, a car for your girlfriend........and you look at me like you've done ME a favor.

Karma is a bitch. 
(...the last stripper I dated was named Karma....for real....but she was kinda nice)
I am done with carrying those who won't carry themselves.
I've lost almost everything I could possibly lose, my self respect is the last thing and you can't have it you dirty worthless cur.
I've sacrificed and gone without for you and your 'gotta haves'.
I've lived knee deep in shit you've caused and I ALWAYS clean up your mess.
I've withstood your insults, your humiliations, short paychecks, bad business decisions and narrow, bland, uncreative "plan". A plan that somehow included me carrying you to your moldering demise while I pave the way with my own dreams.

For every scar on my face and every scar inside where nobody can see.
For every time you found a way to try and undermine me in front of women.
For every time you put someone else ahead of your own son.

You reap what you sew and you love to kick me when I'm down.
Remember....I'll get back up soon and then you're fucked.

OK, personal shit aside for the time being.....

I'm out of my shop space as of the end of the week at the latest. I'll be setup in a few days in a very temporary spot where I can do small machining and such.Those that have projects with me, please get in touch so we can work out details. I have little to no money to throw around but I'll be able to finish up what I have going if I can beg just a little more patience. However like I said before when things started going down the tubes, if you want your money back let me know and I'll do what I need to.

I'm sorry for any inconvenience the causes to you or your projects. Last thing I ever wanted. I also apologize for airing my personal dirty undies here, but it's my outlet at the moment.

What the hell?

Well, it's sorta bike content....
Yesterday I had a stainless exhaust put on Miss Kitty's Jetta by the good kats a HM Motorsports. My buddy Jordan is the manager there and went the extra distance to get it right and it is! Sounds good, a bit more pop...a bit, it's a 2.0l single cam motor so it's not gonna be a barn burner but then she doesn't need a baby eater. I also added a K&N filter with a healthy airbox mod that not only added to the growl, especially off the line but also helped nudge the ponies up just a bit more.
It's a good setup for a daily driver like this, just enough audible presence to be fun, stainless won't rust away and it woke it up a bit. We may add a cam and possibly a header at some point too. I ordered a throttle body off ebay that I'm gonna bore out for a bit more intake flow and we'll look into a chip for it as well.

At this point though the spongy OE suspension HAS to be addressed. The little motor now grunts enough to throw the body back ie; lifts the front and squashes the rear as it takes off from a stop and even does some when you mash it below 35mph.
I've looked online at various options and it's either bargain KYB struts and shite springs or high buck coil overs. I won't put shit parts on her car and she doesn't need race suspension so I'm going to source my own middle ground solution likely in the form of KYB's step-up AGX adjustable struts, some machining here to convert to coil over springs which I'll source thru Eibach to suit. Not too stiff, but definitely firmer than stock. I might look into bending up some bigger swaybars too at some point...yeah I make custom swaybars...it's a long story.

Here's some crap pics:

A nice inline-resonator also in stainless. Teutonics Tuning doesn't mess around.

Nice stainless construction, not ricer flashy just good solid performance. Slightly larger diameter pipe too.

The stock airbox is fairly voluminous, but terribly restricted and the air path takes a circuitous route. Fuck that....I hacked out the bottom and got rid of the joke of a stock intake snorkel. There's now a large opening that draws from a largely protected void that's also nicely supplied with fresh cool air from the bumper area. I'll add a diverter tube if it's really needed....doubt it.

Nice K&N panel filter. Once the lid's on nobody will be the wiser other than the small "Do Not Shitcan!!!!" sticker on the top. Ah yes FYI: her Jetta is green so was dubbed Kermit.

Choke point!! This looks ok huh? At the indicated location however, the internal opening is approximately 15mm x 45mm! WTF?? Plus, there's a screen up near the grill opening that keeps crap outta the airbox...nice idea except that it clogs badly and in this case was only flowing maybe 40% if that. GONE!!!!!

I'm generally against stickers declaring aftermarket equipment but Miss Kitty got a giggle out of it so on they go!

Oh yeah, on top of everything else they were blazing fast and had the car ready to go in less that two hours. No muss, no fuss, no rattles, knocks or funny sounds.

Minor Bike content below:

Whilst out to retrieve said car I took the opportunity to meet Andrew from Little Horse as his shop is right my HM. This kat's one helluva fabricator and has deigned to take on the sheetmetal rework for the tank on Sakura. SEE!!!!! Bike Content!!!!

I love the shape of the little minibike tank I'll be using but there was some areas I wanted tweaked just a little. First is the bottom edge, it's in truth a pretty cheap tank from a cheap department store minibike of the 60's, the sheetmetal is kinda thin and there's an exposed pinch weld along to bottom that I want gone, reworked, covered....whatever. All the really nice tanks have a nice rounded bottom edge too and I want that. The other thing I want is some nutserts added around the OE filler neck as I've got something really REALLY neato planned for it. So neato in fact that there will be some of you who may experience a slight burning around the package. Have some beer around to douse the flames...ok? I'll feel bad after I laugh....

Blame Canada

I stole this from Trent at BikerMetric because it's fucking rad! You should go there and absorb his stuff wholesale.

Be good you troublemakers...

Oh hey....a GOOD one on ebay......

So those of you who've stuck around have probably seen my recent aggravation regarding a recent eBay debacle. Well, my faith was bolstered a bit today.

I had a deal set with a kat on ebay but there ended up being a problem unforseen by the seller who promptly contacted me and offered a refund. Bummer that the deal didn't fly, shit happens but I am very happy with Mr.Monkeyclaw's communication and willingness to work with me. I've added this kat to my 'search first list' and will be checking his inventory for goodies when the time comes.
Thanks mate!

Check his stuff out, loads of good parts at good prices!
http://stores.ebay.com/mistercsmotorcycles?_trksid=p4340.l2563

Well that worked out.......

not.

So as the more astute(read as: less stoned, drunk or bashed in the dome) of you will have noticed that things are still a little wacky here, those 'big changes on a personal level' are still going on and are likely to for the foreseeable future, though 'things' around here should get back to normal by the end of the month. I took March off of new business and it looks like April will be the same. Money's getting squeaky tight but that's just the way it goes. I can do with a few less big dinners, cheaper beer in the fridge and a little generic ramen never hurt anyone right? Right?!? 

Truly though, for those of you who aren't comfy waiting just drop me a line and I'll throw a refund your way. Right now there's only a couple of you that are drastically overdue for goodies and I am really sorry. though I gotta say, everyone has been very cool and I thank you. Hit me up if ya need to fellas, I'd rather lose a little money on a couple deals than have you kats pissed off out there in intertoob land.

Ya dig?

Here's somethings that are pleasant to look at......

You wanna put that.....where?

Just I like'm; nekid, happy and stacked up to make room for more!

Classic.

Kim Novak circa 1955 or so.

Beast

Put her up top of the goddamned stair-master at the gym and I'd follow for HOURS!!! Motivation!

blah blah blah...you know, be good humans.

Oh what the hell one more fir the road.....

Been a helluva week thus far, load happening on a personal level and a slow creep forward for the bike stuff. I'll have more to post this afternoon, so for now enjoy the fruits my latest bout of musical schizophrenia.

Jon Itkin.
I discovered this guy by accident whilst trolling youtube for something else entirely. Good find.....

The Refreshments.
Man there are times when I miss the 90's...not many, but there ARE times....

Reckless Kelly.
Worth a trip to Austin to hear'm live.....I have a scar from that show, it was great!

be good humans

Meant this one for Yesterday........

Things being what they are, it's late by a day but here's the latest from workin' slob Mike D.

Well, it’s been a little while since I’ve been lucky enough to share with you fine miscreants, but I’m back now so you can all relax and stop planning the mass suicide. I promise I’ll never leave you for such a long time again. Ok, now that we have gotten that out of the way. Let’s get onto the meat of this glorious meal for the mind.

How in the hell are all you minions of His Glorious Shining Appendage? Beautiful physically and full of Christ love I’m sure. Since you were wondering (but too shy to ask), I’m doing well also. I just picked up a pretty rad XS650 chop.

Does this smell like love to you?

Always wanted a proper hardtail and through some creative horse trading and general bartering I ended up with what will be the first bike I’ve owned that I have no plans on getting rid of (I say now…). It’s a little dirty and way too loud but for some reason, that’s just perfect
for me. I’m pretty stoked.

Anyhow, throughout the year or so long journey that led me to this bike, I’ve owned and traded/sold a pile of scoots and parts. Yamahas, Hondas, Harleys… The list goes on. In all the “business” being handled, I was really lucky to get to spend some time with a few guys who really live and breathe this vintage motorbike “thing”. What a bunch of absolute weirdos. I mean complete loons, and I’m proud to count myself amongst their ranks.

In all honesty, there’s some of the best sumbitches ever in this odd little world we have all plunked down our flags upon. Through the web, and in particular the venerable
DOTHETON.com I have been lucky to meet some absolutely killer people. You all know who you are, so Ill leave the name dropping for self righteous dick bags who were
ignored by some TV tart at an overpriced nightclub, but who act as if they and Ms.Vacant stare fucked in public.

Which brings me to my next rambling “point”; Barber Vintage Motorcycle Fest is this upcoming October and hell or high water I WILL be there. That much is for sure. And when I get there, I will be surrounded by great people, great bikes, and hopefully some umbrella girls. And dammit, that’s wonderful. You see, like most of you, I live in the real world. The real fucking boring world. Its full of shitty jobs, horrid people, and empty checking accounts. There’s a healthy dose of shitty weather thrown in for us North
Easterners as well. So, when an event like Barber happens, we as humans (well, those of us who get sexually aroused at the sound of vintage race bikes throttling up after turn
three) owe it to ourselves to take time out to enjoy things like this. We need it. I need it. You need it.

You see, in this ass backwards world of metro-sexuals, where everyone gets a trophy, political correctness bullshit is everywhere, we’re bombarded with the notion that waking up one day and saying “fuck you, I’m getting on my bike, riding away from here and hanging out with a bunch of hoodlums because it makes me fucking happy. And, oh yeah, Ill be really drunk at one (or more than one) point too” is somehow a bad thing. We might offend someone, or god forbid, hurt somebody's feelings. Well ya know what? Good. That’s a great way to separate the people who actually give a shit about your mental health from the jackasses who would trade your happiness for six pack of Blatz.

Fuck those people man. Total wastes. And there’s a TON of them out there. Trying to bring you down to where they reside, fat, docile and useless. I think that’s somewhere behind your shitter by the way. You know the place. That spot you can never really get clean. It’s a sticky and piss soaked dump. Yeah, they live there. Don’t go there. Its gross, and there’s no beer or dirty magazines.

You should be hanging out with the motorcycle weirdos. Doing cool shit, feeling good, starting trouble, but not too much trouble, getting sun burnt in weird places, sleeping in a field, listening to music that your old lady/man hates, talking to people you’ll never see again about seriously heavy shit, and so on… Just fucking do it. You’re
going to be in a pine box before you know it so have a little fun. Fuck Tipper Gore and the rest of the PC crew. Live while you still can. And make sure you call me before hand. I'm always down for a hootenanny.

At a dead run, purloined brew under one arm and someone's banner in the other hand Mike's always down for the hootenanny!

 

Something fell off.......

I'm pretty sure, something fell off back there.....

This is a pretty good illustration of just how 'modular' this bike is, both the chain and shaft drive versions have essentially the same chassis with the exception of the swingarm and possibly some variation of the lower section it bolts to but I haven't compared the two side by side. 

Pretty much a lego-bike. I just picked up another upper frame section that'll be bolted on in place of this one. Once the swap is complete, I'll drop the steering head SEVERAL inches on this one(titled) and bring the static steering angle back to 25* to more suit the TL1000r front end I have for it. I have another lower portion as well that'll be modified to suit the CBR600rr swingarm that I still have to procure a top mount for......grrrr.  

It'll be significantly braced as well as I'm likely gonna chop the middle right out of the frame completely ala Herr Koch's lovely creations, feast your eyes:

Look ma! No middle!

Again, the center portion of the frame has been removed to cut weight and open up the middle visually. The engine is designed as a fully stressed member and has been raced in the same configuration so I'm not worried at all about strength. This will require a one-off seat frame but that bolts on and will be relatively easy to take care of.

I've got it stripped to actually get off my ass and wire the damned thing. I've sworn off EVERYTHING tomorrow and will be here slinging wire and hopefully NOT letting any smoke out of anything other than the engine.

More goodies for this one came this week. I did a little happy dance.

Remember that Mikuni mass buy I talked about a few weeks back? This is what I got in that run! Two brandinew TM38 flatslides for the beastie! YUM! They'll slot right into the boots on the bike now, luckily they are still quite pliable though I could turn up some aluminum manifolds if needed. They have that....'New Carb Smell'

I

I briefly considered a slight change in direction..........ok not really but it was a giggle. The tank is off an 09 Triumph Rocket3 and is so fucking large it's only 2" or so narrower than the bars themselves. The seat is from a sportster. Some 18" apes and no mufflers and.......no.  
No, this is what dumb looks like in case you missed the memo but....it's pretty interesting how different it looks with this bodywork. Definitely cruiser in nature, makes me wonder what's hiding under some other droopy choppersan rejects out there....

And in closing, something lovely to look at on a Friday night I'm spending by myself in the shop....

Quite possibly perfect

may not be perfect but I bet she's loads of fun!

There's more to see in the paddock than bikes and skinny little assholes dressed in leather!

Nice flowers.....

Fantastico!

I don't remember it quite like this in the 80's......

I like'm dirty! Beautiful and stacked doesn't hurt though....

Happy Easter you degenerates!

Filler, fluff, too much goddamned rain, the fookin' phone and a slipping schedule

What the hell, it's Tuesday and I feel like working backward.....

Slipping Schedule

I apologize to those of you waiting on 'Short term' projects; you kats on the clip-on list, Mike D for a few things, Ringo and Mr.Spacers. I way overestimated my time available and things are definitely running long. If that's not cool with you, drop me a line at homagemotoworks@gmail.com and we'll work it out. 

Having loads of work is good, it really is. Unfortunately this hit when some things outside the shop(out there in that 'real world'** place) came to sit on my chest as well haha. That being said, I have exactly zero scheduled outside the shop for some time so hopefully we'll be past this hitch quickly. Thanks for being patient, I'll make sure your goodies are spiff!

The phone.....bain of my existence

An incomplete list of people I'm supposed to call but haven't because I suck and get lost in the work until it's way too late to call. But mostly because I suck.....

Trent because he's a badass and made me a generous offer that I wish to partake of. I'd drink the Koolaid! Hell I'd dress up as BraMan and run around Nola with a 5 gallon bucket of daiquiri and a big straw. I plan to....

Caleb because he thinks big and has ideas and the wag to move on them.

Swaps because he's patient and a cool guy who's building an LSR VF500!

Jerry who does great logo work and likes scantily clad nubiles too. Nubile....that is a good word. It might be the best word.....except for blowjob. That's definitely the best word!

Troy simply because I haven't done so in far too long and you're too cool to not BS with.

Kiley because to my embarrassment.....I don't think I have.....ever.

...and the rest of you waiting on my busy ass, I'll make time for the phone I promise.

Side note: There's some scary shit for sale on ebay. I went looking for my favorite comic book character Bra-Man but google gave me this 

(umm....eww.)

http://compare.ebay.com/like/120491737426?var=lv&ltyp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar

Rain. rain-rain, rain-rain, rain-rain, fuck.

(That's haiku right there)

Fuck me! Is it ever gonna quit raining? And what a stupid word. 

R-A-I-N....it's even stupid looking. The arrangement of letters leaves MUCH to be desired.

It is my fervent desire that it quit raining. Now.....

Fervent. Fervent is an ok word, not nearly as good as nubile or blowjob though.

Fluff and Filler

Not that there's really anything wrong with fluff. Some of my favorite things are kinda fluffy:

-The warm zip in liner for my Hein Gerrick Dakar is kinda fluffy and furry.

-the fleece neck binky I bought in the clearance bin at the local Honda shop for a buck.....also similarly warm and fluffy and slightly furry.

-Kittens and puppies are fluffy and furry and cute and make me less likely to stab a banker. I want a cute Kitty&Puppy poster for the wall in the shop....I think that'd be rad.  (Mostly because women will dig it)

So how about some filler? Some filler that's kinda fluffy...

Yay indeed....

For the tan, the tat and the contrast

for her unreadable expression

***"The Real World" may or may not exist outside my shop. There are times when I'm fairly doubtful, usually because what's going on out there is so fucking left field stupid that my tools and machine are often the only things that make any sense to me what so ever.

WTF!!!??????

Somehow three posts have disappeared. I don't know why but I'll try to retrieve them.

Mostly filler and attractive females but still....

Day to day here is a little fucked and I'm a bit blue. I'll have things back up to speed in short order. 

In the meantime here's some attractive girls.

For the swallows.....

For her eyes.....

Just because it's a rad photo......

For that sexy, duckface free pout

For the negative space....

For that wee purple halo

Badass of the week

Don't know how I found it, don't really care.
Made me smile a bit on a day that was spiraling into a real face-stabber.

http://www.badassoftheweek.com/index.html

More to come this afternoon you mutants......